The transition from secondary school to university has already been a daunting prospect for me since the beginning of sixth form. Will I achieve the grades I am capable of? Will these be enough to attain my university offers? What happens if I don’t get the grades for my firm or my insurance offer?
However, with everything happening with exams at the moment, my uncertainty about where I will end up in September has skyrocketed. Trust me, I hate exams as much as the next person, but I didn’t realise how much I liked the control. They were my exams. I revised for them, I sat them, and I got the results that I deserved. It was about what I did on that day – whether it went well or went badly.
Now it feels like I’m handing the control over to someone else. All of my decisions throughout the year – that English essay I rushed, that Maths exams I crammed for, that German test I winged – are all swimming around in my head. Will they decide my final grade? Do my teachers really know what I could have achieved in June?
I suppose it’s about trust. Not just in my teachers but in life – as cheesy as it sounds. I just have to trust that what will be will be. At some point in the future I will look back knowing that whatever route I took to get here was the right one. Maybe I didn’t get into the university of my dreams, maybe I did, but no matter what, where I will be in September is where I am supposed to be.