My boyfriend and I met the first week of Freshers' - on the dance floor, inside a grimy club. He offered me a drink. I said yes. We both clinked our glasses together and pretty much never looked back.
It was everything I hoped for: I'd found my soulmate at uni. We loved hanging out but had that great balance of also spending time with our friends. We were supportive of each other when things were stressful, shared the excitement when life was going well and by third year made the decision to move into a join uni house with two other couples. The dream right?
Well yes, until lockdown.
You'd think lockdown with your boyfriend and best friends was going to be a right laugh. There were enough of us to entertain ourselves. We could study in the day, make dinners together and play games into the night. On a Saturday, all we needed was a few red cups and we had a ready-made party. I felt so lucky in those first few weeks of lockdown. I was winning.
But then one day, totally out of the blue my now ex-boyfriend announced things weren't working. He'd been feeling this way for a while apparently but now the pressure of being together 24/7 was getting to him and he couldn't do it any more.
I wanted to scream, shout and ball my eyes out but instead I just nodded and asked him to leave my room. I guess I was kind of in shock to start with. I hadn't done life without him for 2 and a half years. Add to that we were now stuck in a house together - this was going to be a nightmare.
And yes, it 100% was/is. For the last few weeks I have been resigned to silent tears in my bedroom, out of his sight. The atmosphere in our uni house is now, as you can imagine, pretty awful. Our friends have been really supportive but two exes stuck in a house together for weeks on end, is like some warped reality TV show. The only plus being we haven't exactly got the fear of the other dating anyone else.
The heartbreak is real. I feel that sickness at my core, it's permanently on my mind and I HAVE TO SEE HIM EVERY DAY! Feel for me here gals...!
I know we're not yet meant to be mingling households but my parents keep telling me to just come home and I think maybe now the time has come to do just that...
(I've written this under a different name but want anyone who has faced a lockdown break up to know YOU ARE AMAZING, YOU HAVE GOT THIS!)